2023—Ridiculous Stunt Tour

“Somersaulting Towards Hope”

June 10th-17th, 2023

$418,874 was the total raised including Sylvester’s .50 :1 match.

This year’s funds will be directed to further research by Sylvester in cancer epigenetics

Day 1

The team gathered on Castaway Beach before dawn with family and friends congregating as the paddlers prepared their kayaks for launch.  Mr. Steve Frigo served as MC, Captain Eric Pino addressed the audience and Jorge Bustamante Sr. led the opening prayer.  Doctors from UM Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Research Center joined us as we continued our 5-year pledge with them.  Dr. Stephen Nimer, the Director of the Cancer Center, addressed the crowd and reminded us all of the importance of grassroots organizations like us.  Jaime Lemus introduced PD who performed the ceremonial first stroke. The following paddlers launched off Castaway Beach at approximately 7:42 am:  Steve O’Brien, Eric Pino, Patrick Linfors, Paul Kumer, Omar Becerio, Jaime Lemus, Roger Dabdab, Caleb Eisenberg, Kari Linfors, Greg Trainor, rookie Castaway Sebastian Mas, and plus day paddlers John Di Rossi.

Propelled by the emotions of the opening ceremony, the paddlers turned East through Bear Cut where we first saw JC Mas who skippered the support boat ‘T/T Muchos Mas.’  For the coming week, JC relentlessly warded the team from unsuspecting boaters earning him the (unofficial) nickname of ‘K-9.’  As we crossed to the ocean side of Bear Cut, the yellow tandem suffered a rudder failure (specifically the pedal housing).  The team pulled over on a small beach and completed makeshift repairs which involved Captain Pino thrusting the top 80% of his body into the cockpit while most of the team observed.  This was the first of many steering repairs for the week.  Shortly thereafter, the team relaunched and arrangements for repair parts to be delivered to Islamorada were made while underway.  Upon arriving at “El Farito,” John Di Rossi and Sebastian Mas disembarked, and the team helped them load their kayaks with landlubbers Mercy and Candace assisting.  Sebastian would later join his father aboard the support vessel.

The team continued South with excellent sea states and calm winds though admittedly behind schedule, arriving at Soldier Key at high tide.  JC and Sebastian anchored in deeper water and joined the paddlers for a short lunch break.  Thereafter, the team paddled South, and the morning’s pristine conditions eroded into a stiff headwind.  A few turtles greeted us along the way (the first of many that week) and the team debated the merits of moving next year’s lunch stop to one of the islands South of Soldier Key; no consensus was achieved.  The team paddled West of the flats, eventually passing Boca Chita and arriving at Sands Cut at 3:14 pm for happy hour.  The Castaways landed on Elliott Key at ~5 pm where Carlos Luis, Carter Burrus, and crew greeted us for a nightcap as we set up camp; part of the team elected to camp at “the point” and the rest beneath the ranger station.

Day 2

Alarms sounded at 4 am and the paddlers began to break camp and launch the boats.  At 4:50 am, the Castaways eagerly shoved off into the darkness each with headlamps and glow sticks on the bow and stern.  There was stiff wind and an unexpected chop which, in the absence of light, required more focus than some expected.  Dawn eventually broke and a couple of hours later, we found ourselves at Pumpkin Key where we were greeted by the island’s caretaker (the previous year Bill Gilbert and his salty dog Otis greeted the team).  We lounged on the beach and had “brunch” out of our respective drybags in the shade of the tiki hut and celebrated the possibility of landing early in Key Largo.  As we launched, we identified that the red tandem rudder required repairs and floated idle in the morning sun until we finally decided to “chance it” and proceed towards Steamboat Creek where we found an unusually strong, oncoming current. At that point, it became apparent that the red tandem required immediate repairs and we found a tiny stretch of shallow water near the mangroves and made repairs before embarking upon the waters of Barnes Sound.  Officer Ian Barnett (also a Columbus alumnus) met us in his patrol boat and escorted us the rest of the afternoon.  Chiqui and Cristy Alonso also passed by and offered the paddlers beverages and support.  The team stopped on the flats at the mouth of Jewfish Creek for a well-deserved break and laughed about our once foolish hopes of landing early.  Unknown supporters stopped to greet us, and the team then paddled through Jewfish Creek with the added safety of our police escort.  The paddlers landed at about 6:30 pm at the Amoray Diver Resort on MM104.  After a brief dip in the pool, we settled in and had a delicious Shepard’s Pie made by Brother Al Rivera from CCHS.

Day 3

After a good night’s rest, the paddlers assembled on the small beach at the hotel.  The previous day’s repairs on the red tandem were reinforced as the team discussed the questionable weather forecast.  OB cited TS Elliott in the morning prayer, “[some of us] had the experience but missed the meaning.”  Sebastian Mas rejoined the paddlers and JC and Vivian Mas greeted the team at launch.  The team paddled past the former Marriott hotel and towards the sanctuary of Dusenberry Creek as the weather deteriorated.  As we exited the channels that led to Buttonwood Sound, a squall materialized with heavy wind, rain, lightning, strong currents, and minimal visibility.   The team huddled in our boats bracing against the mangrove roots for 45 minutes as we laughed, ate, drank, and embraced the moment as like-minded pirates.  As soon as the storm dissipated, the team hurried across Buttonwood Sound, bypassed the usual stop of a Salty Piece of Land (aka “The Patch”), and proceeded to Casa Mas where JC and Vivian hosted the team with a pork lunch and Cuban coffee.  The team once again, undertook kayak repairs – this time on the yellow tandem with the aid of replacement parts that were delivered by Peggy and Joe of the roadcrew.  (The amount of hands it took to get this piece to the house within 12 hours was impressive and speaks to the amount of people who support the CAC.  The” housing” was bought on the water by Pino, picked up by a volunteer in Naples, and handed off to  Chiqi’s stepfather who happened to be in Naples and heading back to Miami that night.  It was handed off a few more and eventually delivered to Islamorada at the crack of dawn the next morning.  Frigo coordinated this entire process).   With the extended break, some of us sampled the most delicious tequila imaginable and fantasized in the shade about not paddling the rest of the day.  Via Steve Frigo, we learned of a young man Rory who was battling cancer and OB sent him a video message from that beach.  With JC, Vivian, and the happy hour road crew alongside, Patrick e explained the etymology of each paddler’s nickname.  

Despite the warm and appreciative hospitality, the Castaways find a way to meet each good turn with unintended irreverence; this particular stop would be no different.  While the team gathered in the reprieve - which included iced water, and rum and cokes - provided by Casa Mas, Patrick’s attention was diverted.  Off to the side, a copper bell which had been ignored by each passing Castaway had Patrick’s undivided attention.  The bell read “The Captain’s Bell.”  Without hesitation, Patrick briskly snatched the bell, rang it not once but twice, and was en route to deliver Captain Pino “the Captain’s Bell.”  Gleeful and naive, Patrick had not noticed he had just committed quite the faux pas.  Before Patrick could deliver the bell, JC intercepted the exchange and silenced the bell’s ringing with solemn gentleness.  The gesture and the silence caught the team’s attention; it was clear to each paddler we may have overstayed our welcome before lunch was served.

With unimaginable grace, JC ignored the team’s unintentional irreverence and shared a deeply personal family story: “The Captain’s Bell” origin story.  Jorge Mas Canosa (JC’s father and Sebastian’s grandfather) purchased the bell when he purchased the lot where Casa Mas currently sits.  As JC told the story, his father intended the house to be the place where his children and grandchildren would gather as a family, and he would ring “The Captain’s Bell” to call his children and grandchildren to the dinner table (the same table we were currently sharing that day for lunch).  Unfortunately, Mr. Mas never had the opportunity to ring “The Captain’s Bell” as intended as he passed before he shared that moment.  Until Patrick, “The Captain’s Bell” had never been rung.

At the conclusion of the heartfelt story, JC rang the bell not only to commence lunch but to honor his father.  JC made it a point to emphasize the work the Castaways are doing is meaningful and inspiring.  

Future meals at Casa Mas are currently TBD.

The team paddled South towards Toilet Seat Pass where we were greeted by a local dolphin and two stingrays.  The traditional Tom Foolery took place, though abridged.  With the sun sinking towards the horizon, we kept the break short, and Jaime took the lead along the (fairly new) route past Whale Harbor and to La Jolla Resort.  It was an extremely long day, and we weren’t prepared to paddle in the darkness; the last boat landed at 9 pm.  Not ideal but definitely worth the lunch at Casa Mas.  The team quickly enjoyed short rib lasagna donated by C&C Wood Fire on the beach and went to bed.

Day 4

We launched from La Jolla and took the back county route towards Robbie’s for breakfast.  Along the way, Patrick conducted a radio interview while Paul, Jaime, and Eric discussed what seemed to be an elevated number of sunken, abandoned boats in the bay.  We met the Road Crew at Robbie’s for breakfast and Sebastian pulled his boat out; he would rejoin the paddlers later on in the trip.  The team quickly paddled towards Anne’s Beach and seemed committed to landing early.  At Anne’s Beach, we fortified the red tandem rudder repairs and crossed over to the bay and towards the Long Key Viaduct.  The team took an in-boat break next to Fiesta Key.  Unexpectedly, the owner of the restaurant (Ocean’s 305) came out to greet us, handed out cold water, and invited us to stop there next year.  We quickly set out for Rainman’s Rendezvous and as usual, debated its location relative to the markers (a tradition unlike any other in maritime pastimes).  With several hundred yards to go, the red tandem’s rudder housing completely fell off which abruptly ended the debate, and we stopped on the shoal as planned.  The most recent failure on the red tandem drew commentary; it seemed fitting that the tandem had been named after a submarine- the Red October.

Richard Curry joined us as usual, and Suzy and her kayak departed with him.  With the aid of a lot of zip-ties, Rainman and the Cruise Director took their turn at repairing the red tandem.  The team promptly boarded their kayaks and prepared for the final hump towards Grassy Key.  The team landed with plenty of daylight and walked down the street to the S.S. Wreck & Grill for dinner.   

That night we had our traditional gathering on the water's edge to debate life's great questions starting with what the heck are we going to name next year's tour?!?  Shooting stars littered the sky though Peggy failed to see any of them.  Loud voices ruled the night and funny stories were told.

Day 5

The team had breakfast at the picnic table and cautiously launched their kayaks on the treacherous boat ramp at the Gulfview Waterfront Resort.  During the morning prayer, Jaime quoted Michael J. Fox – “gratitude breeds optimism.”  As the team pushed off, the red tandem’s rudder repairs were reinforced one more time.  

Much to the team’s disbelief, the paddlers entered Vaca Cut at slack tide and much to the delight of the local community, the Vaca Cut Fairy celebrated the paddlers with a square grouper of cash, warm cookies, and frozen ices.  As the team paddled towards Sombrero Beach, we saw sharks and rays on the flats.  Upon arrival at Sombrero, we had sandwiches for lunch (facilitated by Chiquita) and debated the forecast for the 7-mile bridge crossing.  We donned our PFDs and discussed our formation for the crossing which called for the tandems in the center of the pack while the T/T Muchos Mas shadowed us downstream.  After the rollers subsided, the team discussed the program for our upcoming stop.  

Upon arrival at Molasses, Frank and Monica greeted the team and we celebrated that special moment as Castaways do.  JC and Sebastian as well as Frank and Monica joined us, and our Consigliere Patrick invited us each to say, why we paddle.  A circle was formed and the real meanings behind why we’ve done this for 24 years once again became evident.  Like all great Castaway moments, then we punctuated with a flare–Patrick summoned Odin, and “Ibis” was reborn.  

Eventually and reluctantly, the team reboarded our kayaks and continued West towards Bahia Honda.  We beached our boats, hopped into cars, and went to the St. Columba Episcopal Church which we affectionately call, the “The Abby.”  In a large room that resembled a modest, sleep-away camp of the 1980s, the team laughed, talked, relived Patrick’s phone antics from last year, and slept.  Patrick said goodbye to each of us; he would leave the team early the next morning to fly home and see his son graduate high school.

Day 6

The first day in nearly 20 years without Patrick Linfors on the water.  How would we fare?  Would we go in the wrong direction?  Who would tell the stories?  Who had the extra rum?  The day began with a boxed breakfast that Chiquita facilitated for us at the Abby.  The team bartered hard-boiled eggs and bagels as if we were in an elementary school cafeteria.  We then piled into the cars and headed out to Bahia Honda.  Pastor Debra led us in the opening prayer.  Since Patrick had left, we loaded Eric’s boat onto a car and Eric joined OB in the tandem.  Once again, we prepared the red tandem’s rudder for service and launched the boats. 

The team made it to Picnic Island at 11:40 am and had lunch in the shade.  OB visited the large party barge just off the island and was gifted a commemorative cup that bore images of unruly parties past.  For the second year in a row, we attempted to nail our wooden paddle sign that Captain Pino’s dad had made and Ventura had decorated, into a tree.  As opposed to last year, this year we pre-drilled holes!!!  The preplanning worked.  The paddle sign was nailed to the tree and the ceremonial photo was taken.  As we departed the beach, a man proposed marriage on bended knee – it was obvious that he waited until the Castaways left but we sounded our airhorns in celebration.

As we approached Tarpon Creek, we huddled up next to T/T Muchos Mas and JC explained that the upcoming flats were too skinny for the boat; he would rejoin us on day 7.  The team navigated the rapid currents of the S-Bend where we stopped for our usual break and sent messages to Patrick to ensure he knew what he was missing.  We took pictures with the In Honor banned and we paddled towards Sugarloaf Lodge.  The sunset at the Sugarloaf Lodge was spectacular and the team reminisced about the days when the tiki hut bar was open.

Day 7

OB led us in an opening prayer.  OB, Eric, Paul, Caleb, Rainman, Suzy, Kari, Roger, Jaime, and Sebastian launched on day 7.  We paddled the shallow waters that approach Key West.  JC Mas approached us in a zodiac (the dingy to the dingy) and the team made its way to Flemming Key where a special forces base resides.  We took our final break and toasted to each other on our last few moments on the water.  We discussed landing arrangements and coordinated with the landlubbers, road crew, families, and friends.  The paddlers landed on Key West at 2:20 pm with Sebastian leading the way and Jaime taking Patrick’s mantel and announcing to the crowd about our success.

Hugs were had, kisses exchanged, and brief stories were told as the paddlers saw loved ones and teammates that they hadn’t seen in a week.   Captain Pino toasted to his team and to the crowd (and onlookers at the beach) for another successful year.  Boats had to be stripped and loaded which is a remarkably annoying task for someone on the water for a week.  Now came the waiting game.  Cyclists and runners were going to converge on the beach in the coming hours.  To the bar and pool for celebrations until their arrival.

The pool was the place to be for a brief moment.  So many stories were being exchanged from paddlers, runners, and cyclists.  Crazy stories converged in that wonderful pool.  Loud laughs and a lot of “no ways” were heard by all who were trying to relax.

With Patrick Linfors absent, Paul Kumer stepped up to MC the Flower Ceremony on the dock at the Hyatt Centric.  Cup in hand….at least for 2 minutes, before he dropped it during his opening monologue.  He navigated 30+ Castaways giving testimony to why they paddle, run, cycle, and landlub.  Emotions were high and sharing was insightful.  The ceremony started later than last year which allowed for the sunset to naturally provide a gorgeous backdrop to the flowers reath, In Honor Banner, and the candles that were placed before it by the Castaways and those supporters in attendance.

After a few moments of silence and somberness, all that were gathered wiped their tears, hugged, and made their way to Papa’s Pilar to do what Castaways do best, celebrate life with their loved ones front of mind.  Papa’s Pilar was a blast.  The food was on point, the drinks hit the spot, and the Castaway family was celebrating their collective success.  Kids ran around and runners, cyclists, and paddlers held court in small circles telling tales of their journies down.  The night ended for most people here but the usual (and not so usual) partygoers made their way to Irish Kevin’s and beyond.  For those stories, you’ll have to catch one of those CACs off the record.

Saturday morning in Key West is always a great time for a stroll.  The town is quiet and restaurants have seating.  As you walk the streets it feels like you run into a Castaways every other block or so.  Brunches were had and once again the pool because the popular meeting ground for Castaways to piece together the last week and last night.  Sloppy Joes for lunch has become a tradition where Castaways unofficially gather for good family fun.  Another year in the books.  24 years of paddling, 3 of cycling, and 1 of running.  Who knows what the 25th tour will bring but it’s sure to be notable.

• To check out the Trip Report click here and here for the Runner’s Report.